I’ve been out of work for about a month now. Fine. Two months. I’m living rent free with my parents, though a quiet voice pops into my mind every once in a while and reminds me that I will still eventually run out of money. That, and it’ll look awful on my resume to have such a long ‘pause point’ as I’ve started to call it.
So in preparation for work, I bought more than a hundred dollars worth of Target clothes that seemed to fit the ‘business casual’ mold while still looking trendy and young enough for a 22 year old to rock. Because I thought I had a job all but secured. Which, as most people know, is a bad thing to count on. “All but” is a dangerous phrase.
Like when my dog had ‘all but’ completely healed, and then promptly ripped her stitches open again.
So, scrambling, I’ve begun to apply for jobs in multiple cities, ranging from retail to nonprofit to government jobs. There’s even one that honestly seems as perfect as I believe I can find. At least, until I get more experience. Which I need experience to get. I’ve all but given up on being the career woman I planned to be. (There’s that ‘all but’ again…)
I don’t expect to get the perfect job. Or even my second choice, which would still be awesome. Aside from the commute. I got one interview. It’s for a retail job (that’d be a first for me), and aside from the managers I’d probably be the only person there with a college degree. And I’m quite sure my new work outfits would not fit in, if they’re even permitted. And unlike my other degree-free option, this one is not in a field or company in which I’d like to climb the corporate ladder.
I told the manager who called to schedule an interview that I’d call him back. My options are interview tomorrow (Hell no!) or next Wednesday. Did I mention this is in another city? And that the job would pay so very little. And that it may not even be full time. And that he just called yesterday and I like to meticulously plan in advance. Even if I know I’m just going to blow off my plans, I like having them. Makes me feel like an adult.
Like an adult who goes to a midnight premiere on a work night and downs an extra large Monster, knowing full well the regular size is at least 2 servings.
Yet, until I hear back from my first and second choices, this is all I have. (The applications for those don’t even close until tomorrow, and they’re both government jobs, so I’m not expecting a quick response.) I can’t screw up my only sure shot (I keep forgetting it’s just an interview) to hold out on jobs that will likely go to older people with experience, connections, and resumes their mothers didn’t help them write.
Yes, “mother” helped me. Totally didn’t get any help from the kiddo.
Let’s think about the possible scenarios. Best case scenario I say no to this interview and get one of my first choice jobs. But that’s doubtful, and I can’t push my luck right now. More likely I’d say no and never hear from the other guys and continue to be unemployed. Another option is I interview and get this job. No word from the others? At least I have a job. It is possible I could interview and get this job, but then get an interview for the other jobs. If I could get off work and make it to the interview, and then by some miracle receive an offer, then I can either say no or walk out on my new job. And look like a flake. And feel like one. It’d look bad on my resume, but Hell, I’d have a much better job anyway.
So I guess I’ll just have to phone mister manager and schedule to meet him. My first ever interview with a guy, too. And since I’m incredibly awkward (I like to call it quirky) I’m not sure if a guy would accept me as well. Or if it would matter at all. Better slather on the make up anyway. (Actually, that would be wise no matter who my interviewer was, so long as they still had their vision. The little things you learn while getting your psychology degree.)